Who Should Be Your BFF From The Office?

Your George Foreman Grill that you keep burning you foot on.
Beets.
Your fiance.
Hot dogs.
French Onion Sun Chips.

Hiding a certain co-worker's stapler in a mound of Jello or repositioning his desk in the men's bathroom.
Writing song parodies such as ''Beers in Heaven'' and ''Total Eclipse of the Fart.''
Looking at dirty Internet sites and brewing beer in the cabinet behind my desk.
Inconspicuously helping a certain co-worker play pranks.
Playing Second Life. Your character would be just like you, only they could fly.

Androids, zombies, criminals of all kinds that can be disposed of with a crossbow.
Dwight Shrute.
Internet surveillance.
Your bonehead ex-fiance who tried to beat up your current fiance.
Toby.

The roof of our building.
Pour Richard's.
Chili's.
My farm.
A bowling alley.

''I love the smell of bacon on a woman.''
''The ice melts and it’s like...second drink!''
''That's what she said!''
''Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They'll conjure up images of used car dealers and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesman - and women - of the world...unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together...Together that we prevail! We must never cede control of the motherland!''
''If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.''