1. You just spilled mustard on your favorite white shirt and it is a stain that will never come out. Your coworker, Betsy, knows this and decides to poke fun and say, ''I told you not to spend $90 on that shirt. It's ruined forever. Sweet waste of a Benjamin.'' How do you respond to her?
Your face is ruined! Shut the f*** up, I'll shove this f***ing piece of s*** down your g****** throat! How would you like me to ruin your face? $90 is nothing compared to the amount of money I would gladly give to get you out of my life forever. Ah, do you have any napkins or anything to clean this off? I wish this didn't happen.
2. You're at a department store with your parents and you see your crush there. Instinctively, you dive into the nearest rack of clothing and demand your parents to do some reconnaissance work so your crush doesn't see you but you can track that person's every move. Instinctively, your parents call you crazy. What do you say?
I understand that I'm crazy for this, but it's just something that I would really appreciate from you. Maybe I wouldn't be crazy if you did a better job raising me. My faults are all because of your terrible parenting skills. Do it or you'll have to answer to me. Just f***ing do it already! Why do you always have to be so f***ing inquisitive?! Your face is crazy!
3. Oh man. As if your day couldn't get worse from the D+ you got on that math quiz and spraining your ankle in gym class, your biggest enemy has challenged you to a fight after school. You get to the fight at exactly 3:15 and wait patiently. When your challenger finally shows up, what do you do?
Shove the person while shouting obscenities that would make Eminem's ears red. Say, ''Your face is a fight.'' Calmly walk up to the person and say, ''You are a waste of life. Nobody loves you and nobody ever will. Congratulations on being another insignificant speck in the Universe.'' Ask the person if you can talk things through. Why should you be fighting? You two used to be best friends! Jump on the person and tackle him/her to the ground and start an array of punches on that person's skull.
4. The Internet connection you're using keeps going down. Argh, it's so annoying! How do you react when it goes down right before you finish loading your friends list on myYearbook?
You laugh and call the Internet a ''wascawwy wabbit''. You call up the Internet service provider and ask them if there is a problem with the connection and what steps can be taken to resolve the problem. You leave the computer and do something else while waiting for it to come back on. You hit the computer monitor with your hand and start clenching your fists in anger at the situation. You yell in frustration, ''Ahhh! I HATE THIS COMPUTER!!!''
5. You're jamming to the newest album from your favorite band. When someone in your class asks you what it is and you tell him, he laughs and says, ''You listen to that crap? Haha, let me know when you get good musical taste.'' Ooh this boils your blood...what do you say?
Go ahead and make fun of them some more. I have five friends over here that would love to listen to you talk some more... Fine by me. This ''crap'' band has done more in their paltry existence than you will ever amount to in your life. Congratulations, you just inadvertently humiliated yourself. You don't like this band? What kind of music are you into? Your face is crap! That's because you like s*** like Nickelback and Hinder. That f***ing s*** is what makes the music industry such a sack of s***.
6. Your significant other has cheated on you and you found out through a mutual friend. This is your first time seeing your partner since you found out...what's the first thing you're going to do when you see them?
Hug the person and then say, ''Hey...I heard a pretty nasty rumor. Is this true?'' Say, ''You just made the biggest mistake of your life. You will never, ever find love like the love I gave you. Consider this the high point of your life because it's only going to get worse as every day goes by.'' You slap the person across the face and just walk away. I can't believe you f***ing did this to me you scummy little troll! You're such a d*****bag and you're going to rot in hell for this you c***slice! Say, ''Not only did I get cheated on by you, but I got cheated on by life by having to look at your face for the duration of this entire relationship. We're over.''