1. If you had to categorize your break up in one word, it'd be...
Tearful. Intense. Straightforward. Heartbreaking. I don't remember too much of it actually... I passed out from hyperventilating.
2. How'd it happen?
On a Post-It, which read ''I can't. I'm sorry. Don't hate me!'' Before we went off on separate roads in our lives-- school, work, a big move, what have you. A huge screaming fight one night while we were out. Awful! I just remember tissues and smelling salts.
3. It's the Saturday night after the break up and your out with your friend having a good time, putting back some beers and then you reach the buzz level where you know what's going on but inhibitions have certainly diminished. Your phone is vibrating in your pocket and it looks like you've got a text from your ex. You...
Pick it up as quickly as possible and try not to sound too desperate. Read the text and talk over your well-crafted response with friends. Ask if s/he knows somewhere you two can be alone. What's so bad about sex with an ex? Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Hell, I might even block his/her number.
4. Why does the world hate you today? You're at the movies with your family on a Sunday afternoon and there's your ex with a new girl/guy on his/her arm. How freaking humiliating. What's your initial reaction?
Perfect... movie theaters are dark and full of places for secret rendezvous. ::Smirk:: Stare the new guy/girl up and down til my eyes start to blur and I find a flaw. Look the other way and push my family in the opposite direction. Damn that's an awkward conversation averted. Check myself out quickly, but cautiously and make sure this new dude/chick knows that s/he's only temporary... I am the real guy/girl in my ex's (soon to be current's) life.
5. So your friend sits you down and tells you s/he has something really important to ask you. It turns out s/he is really into your ex and wants to go out on a date with him/her. What do you think about that?
NO WAY! I can't believe s/he would even have the audacity to ask such a ridiculously hurtful question. Caution against it only because s/he seems to be trying to meddle with the fate that will one day connect us. Say, ''If you want him/her. You got it! Your problem now!'' Give him/her the go ahead, as long as s/he isn't too wedded to the idea of monogamy.
6. So let's be honest. What are the chances you and your ex will end up in a compromising position sometime soon?
I'd say pretty good... as long as s/he starts returning my voicemails. Um... been there. Done that! S/he'd be lucky enough to ever lay eyes on me again, let alone hook up with me! Only time will tell. I wouldn't rule it out, but I wouldn't say it's a definite possibility.