1. The gates open, a barrage of fire spews forth in your direction, what do you do?
2. Now that that's over with, you stand within the cold and harsh inards of the Doom Keep's grounds. Welcoming you is a band of twenty Dethpengins (a penguine like creature with fangs, claws, a nasty disposition and a flamethrower for a face). They appear to be bent on ending your existence, what do you do?
3. In the distance you see the massive sanctuary of the Doom Keep, then you look into the shallow pit below. A mass of swarming, crazed failures frantically run without direction in a vain attempt to escape and join the Doom Squad. The sea of wannabes stretches for a mile in all directions and prevents you from passing. What do you do?
4. You now stand before a massive lake of fiery death, you can see giant sea serpents swimming below and the still screaming corpses of thousands. At the shore an old man stands. He says: ''The boat across this lake of fire shall return at nightfall, it is the only way to cross without hefty fines and horrible elavator music!'' What do you do?
5. You approach a massive wall, with a single giant door. In the center is a face, it speaks: ''To reach the Doom Keep, you must answer my question as well as my two brothers questions. Question one: What is your favorite color?''
6. Just beyond the first door, a second one awaits. ''Question two: How long was The Hundred Years War?''
7. Before you lies the third and final door, it says: ''You find yourself hopelessly outnumbered, bleeding heavily and ultimately screwed. You are in an alley, with a chain fence behind you, three parked cars to your left, a ladder to your right, a horde of demons in front and a crapload of explosives within reach...what do you do?''
8. Doors can be so annoying can't they...oh sorry. You have reached the gates of the Doom Keep, a pair of ornately crafted double doors hewn from dragon bones and some...like...really hard stuff, rock I guess...you get the point. Anyhow...preventing you from reaching it however is the Chasm Of Doom. What is that you might ask...it's a bottomless pit where fifty hydra battle fifty giant abyssal worms for all eternity within a shroud of acidic fog. The walls are made of jagged shards of glass and it stinks of fungal growth...evil fungal growth. Your ears are bombarded by the hideous, bile forged sound that some idiots may call 'Good Charlotte'. Woe and eternal plague awaits all whom stumble or are thrown in. There is no bridge either...what do you do?
9. The gates are now within a few minutes jog across an empty field. You take your first step onto the soft grass and a bullet pierces the ground in front of you. Snipers! You look around to notice that there is no shelter, just an open path to the gates. What do you do?
10. Alas! The gates of the Doom Keep! But, also a legion of Dethpengens and...the legendary Dredpengin! Gasp! While only a little taller, it does possess dual Hk G36 assault rifles, both with laser sights, underset grenade launchers, triple sized clips and no safety! He also has no flamethrower, instead he has a shoulder mounted cannon that fires super powerful heat bombs with enough force to level a city. He rides a tank-spider hybrid that has two incindiary RPG launchers, a switchblade in each leg and really big fangs. Oh, and he has an obsession with shiny objects and is an alcoholic. He lights his cigarette with his gun and suddenly all eyes fall onto you, what do you do?
11. Finally, All of your hard work has paid off! You are now in the pressence of Cap'n Doomface and Sgt Quesadilla! They stare at you, unimpressed, one wrong move and you will be executed painfully. Surrounding you in the immense throne room are countless Dethpengins, Doombears and the most elite Doom Squad trolls, ready to maim on command. You have one chance to show your true worth, one chance to prove yourself, what do you do?
