1. The police have just come knocking at your door. Apparently there has been a murder in town and they want information from the locals. They ask you to describe yourself in one word, you say...
Sweet Soulful Authentic
2. Hmm, looks like you’re not winning any favors with these guys. They want to take you in to get you finger printed and do a lineup with some other usual suspects. First question up once you’re in the station, ''Where were you on the night of the murder?''
I can’t remember, but that doesn’t mean I did it. I was at my grandmother’s house knitting her new doilies for her couch. Her fifteen cats keep eating them. I was at home watching TV. It had been a long day, and I just wanted to relax.
3. Uh oh, looks like a witness pointed you at as the suspect. Now you must go before the judge and state your case. What’s your plea, and why do you feel like you should be given the right to remain a free man/woman?
Guilty. OK, even if I didn’t do it, you obviously have a case against me. I might as well just try to get a plea bargain. My life is in shambles anyway, what do I care if I get sent to prison with free food and a roof over my head? Not guilty. I didn’t do it, and that’s a fact. I will not admit to something I know I’m not capable of. I will fight this for as long as necessary. Not guilty. I love life too much. I’d never hurt anyone, ever! Please let me be free, I’ll make the most of this life.
4. The judge finds you guilty! You’ve now been jailed, but have been allowed one last call. Who is it going to be?
Ghostbusters! My mom. No one. I have no one.
5. Oh noes! You’ve been sentenced to death! However, you’re in luck. The warden has offered you one last meal of your choosing. Of the following tasty dishes, which do you choose?
A giant cake with candles. Heck, might as well throw a ''going away'' party! Nothing. I don’t need sustenance for where I’m headed. A thick, juicy steak with a heap of mashed potatoes and gravy, and a cold drink.
6. Bzzzzz. Life’s over for you, buddy. Where are you now?
Someplace divine :D Nowhere. Nothing happens when you die. Hell. OK, I was guilty after all.